#2 – Fists of Glory

As the sky glows a strange red, the PC’s discover a tiny forest hidden in a valley. In the center of the forest is a ramshackle house.

It’s sole inhabitant is Skips, a scruffy old man who’ll yell out to anyone he sees and ask them to do him a favor. “I trim these trees every day, but tonight I got something important to do. Could you do the job for me? I’ll make it worth your while!”

There are 20 trees, which must all be climbed and trimmed with big shears – takes an hour. Anyone who trims a tree must make a dex check or take 1 damage from the awkward shears. Skips will stay in the cottage living it up and taunting the PC’s, refusing to give them any food, rest or gold until the job is done. If he’s forced to finish the job himself, he must roll to avoid injuring his hands. If the PC’s complete the task as intended, he’ll give them 100 GP, a meal and a place to stay. 200 gold in the house, 50 in a secret stash in the fireplace.

At midnight, the sky will glow white and the trees will transform into transparent, humming crystal. A shining rectangle will descend from the heavens and part to reveal a floating naked woman with gold stars for eyes. “Skips! Another 157 year cycle has passed, and it is once again time to fight Clorgbane the Destroyer!” Clorgbane will crash to earth in a flaming meteor shortly after, emerging to lay waste to all he sees.

CLORGBANE: 6D6 HP, AC 15. An inverse-colored baby, wielding the GLOVES OF FEAR. “We meet once more, Skips! But this time it is I who will be born, and you who will fall into the negaverse!”

Clorgbane will smash crystal trees, then zap the shards with the gloves to create 2d4 tiny reflected hologram-men: 1 HP each, holo-knives d4. This effect will only work on Crystal Tree shards.

The woman will give Skips the Fists of Glory to fight Clorgbane. If he has been incapacitated, killed, or his hands have been injured, the woman will demand that the PC’s don the fists in his place. “I love both my sons equally. It must be a fair fight.” The fists can be split up so that two PC’s wear one each.

The FISTS OF GLORY glow red when thrust forward, and do normal unarmed damage. If a Crystal Tree is punched, however, the red glow intensifies into a laser that does 2D8 critical damage to anything in it’s way. If two lasers meet, they will create an explosion. Each time a laser hits another tree, the fist-wielder (Or “Fister”) can roll a intelligence check to make the laser bounce towards an intended position. If the check fails, it will bounce in a random direction – d8 for compass point. Any untrimmed tree will not reflect the laser’s light.

Whoever won – either Clorgbane or Skips – will float up and be embraced by the  woman, then be absorbed to be born back into the world as a fully intelligent baby in a matter of minutes. If Clorgbane wins, he’ll make the valley into a smoking black crater and establish a tower base in the center. If Skips wins, he’ll give the PC’s the Fists of Glory and go back to his hut. The loser will become inverted and fly back into the sky shouting curses.

CLORGBANE’S BASE: 3d4 Laser hologram guards patrol perimeter, hologram blade and crushing wall traps inside, Clorgbane in the center eating hologram feasts and surrounded by d100 beautiful hologram women. All holograms are supported by a complex network of crystal-tree shard mirrors that reflect the lasers from the Gloves of Fear on top of Clorgbane’s throne.

Appendix N: Regular Show episode #64, Fists of Justice. A friend asks the slacker protagonists to do his chores while he takes care of some business. When they blow it, it turns out that business was saving the world.